Story Of The Week #1: Don’t Litter

This is the story of the craziness that Bolt-On lets happen in his truck...

Welcome to Story Of The Week! Names may have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent and details may have been exaggerated for the sake of a better story.

So to open up my new “Story of the Week” feature, I’m beginning with this one that happened back in high school…

This one particular day had more than one incident that made it a bit strange. The story begins with myself, Sody Clate and Cerrick Dampbell (good luck figuring those names out) heading to do some swimming at Trevor Connell’s house. The swimming part was pretty chill. We basically kicked back and did what normal high school losers do. I also had this bitchin inflatable dolphin I picked up at the local Dollar Tree. Best $1 I ever spent, but I digress. We were doing some extreme freestyle dolphin diving and random crap like that.

Anyway, it started raining and little bit but we just kept chilling the pool and whatnot for a little while before eventually bailing. We started back to Derri, er, I mean, Cerrick’s house to rage on some chicken nuggets his mom was making. We pull out of Trevor’s driveway and head down the road. At the end of his road is a some railroad tracks just before dropping off a pretty steep hill for a short distance to a stop sign at another road. I was driving and my approach to the railroad tracks was a little faster than normal. About that time a dog runs across the road and I slam on the brakes to try to keep us from having to eat road kill stew as apposed to the chicken nuggets we were looking forward to.

Since it had been raining, I ended up sliding on the wet concrete. It just so happens that they had literally just installed a set of the stop bars at this railroad crossing and I see us skidding off the road and straight for it. I managed to turn the wheel slightly to the left and we skid to a stop on the gravel about 3 feet away from hitting it. Something was damaged though. Cerrick had a bicycle in the back which was shot straight into the front part of the bed of my truck and broke off the brake lever, but my truck was perfectly fine so I didn’t care. I just wanted to get going before anyone saw anything. So I dropped the clutch, drove straight across the railroad tracks and kept going.

So we get to Cerrick’s house and his mom greets us with these ballin chicken nuggets. We rage on those for a little while then after the free food I get the urge to leave. So Cody Sl, I mean, Sody Clate and I leave and I go to take him home. We happened to have a few bottles of Gatorade that we were done with. Sody chucks one of them out the window and into the front yard of this trailer that I’m pretty sure was a meth lab. The next one was empty, so he gets the bright idea to chuck it out the window, over top of the truck and onto a passing car. Sounds funny right? Yeah it totally is. Unless you choose a total hillbilly to do it to.

Sody chucks it at this car and it completely misses, which makes it funny to me. All of a sudden this guy slams on his brakes. We look back and he’s out of his car looking at the bottle laying in the middle of the road. We pin it back to Sody’s house which was just a couple of turns away. We pull into his neighborhood, and onto his road thinking we got away. Did we? Heck no. All of a sudden this guy comes in full throttle and stops at the end of Sody’s driveway. The dude gets out and he’s this total hillbilly. Like, I’m from North Carolina and I can’t even understand what this guy was saying. He’s sputtering off all this profanity and yelling about how that empty plastic bottle could have broken his windshield. I think he was just a redneck that likes to fight.

Eventually 08Sla, I mean 08Clate’s parents come out and kind of exchange a few words with the dude. Of course that’s when he turns into a complete wuss and backs down. So we’re sitting there talking about what happened. I think we told 08’s parents that he didn’t do it and we ran the bottle over or was trying to throw it into the bed of the truck or something. I don’t remember, it was like 5 years ago. Anyway, we’re talking and all of a sudden this dude comes back like full throttle down Sody’s street and throws the bottle at us. Well, the moron didn’t realize that there’s only 1 way in and out of that neighborhood, so he has to come back by to get out. When he does, well, let’s just say that the bottle did hit his car that time.

So, the moral of this story kids… If you’re going to throw a bottle at a passing car, make sure it’s dark or not some hillbilly guy.

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